Watched the movie Suicide Club / Suicide Circle yesterday night. Sometimes it looks like a parody, sometimes as "serious business", there are quite a few really stupid sequences.. I've red later on a theory of someone that was comparing this movie to the Piper of Hamelin legend, and then all peices suddenly fell into place and everything made perfect sense! The tale's name is even mentioned in the movie. The guy who noticed is a genius.

There is a "reassuring song" in the end which invites you to "leave as you please" (It was nice of them to end it with a little bit of optimism..)

Whenever Eurovision comes I regret it's only "Euro" vision - it would be so fun to watch indian, chinese, north african and mid-eastern candidates.. Maybe they have their own similar shows?

Sweden won, there were like 3 people out of 42 singing in their own languages instead of english. Some of the good ones were from UK, Sweden and Ukraine.

I'm in such need of something sweet that I put sugar in my tea for the first time in several years! Usually I don't put anything in cause it spoils the natural taste.
It's strange how a lack of sugar has the power to put you in a bad mood. But that's good anyway cause I have nothing to eat until dinner and therefore will get a bit slimmer today.. Maybe a few grams. Right?.. (Sure.)

Seriously I envy 8 year old girls cause they're flat and slim without putting in any effort! Then you grow older, you gain weight AND your school homework gradually becomes more complicated. Over the years it's transformation process is like "very easy - easy - normal - difficult - impossible (high school)". The world is unfair.

Ditched class today cause I felt a sudden inspiration to clean the apartment instead and to put together the new year calendar, and a chance like that can't be missed.

I'm done with 1/3 of City of Bones already (don't know if I should be proud about it, some people read so amazingly quickly you have to start wondering if they process all the stuff they read.. How do they do it?..)

It has an embarassing cover to read in public.. When in the subway I keep inclining it at weird angles so people can't see it and assume it's some perverted story (most of those books have exactly this kind of cover design..)

So far Jace reminds me of Malfoy, Simon reminds me of Ron, Isabelle reminds me of Isabel from Shiver and it's weird cause they have a similar personality and pretty much the same name.

Got soaked in the rain while walking from the chinese shop. It was great, I pictured myself in some tropical jungle on a mission.

I'm still considering what degree to choose, but my grades from when I was in school and the constatly running time are giving me a hard reality check. Still don't know what to do.

Mother said I'll be talking to that acquaintance psychologist of hers on the phone, for her to help me decide faster. While many people can normally seek advice from a pro and consider it completely mundane, I kinda feel bad about it cause I can't help seeing them as normal people with plenty of their own problems, and wouldn't feel comfortable talking about things that might sound complainty to a total stranger.

I feel kinda useless when I think about attending art school. I can't help thinking that engineers, doctors, scientists and such are highly needed in our society and are useful and respected human beings while an art student is just.. one out of millions who likes to draw or paint or something among the lines.

 And even if it's funny to read I feel kinda sad when people joke about the average "art student's" future, cause it's what I wanted to do at first, but oh well.. I don't feel that enthusiastic about it, either.

The left hemisphere of my brain behaved so badly (dumb in maths) during high school - is it even normal to think about drastically changing all my (few) plans for a career until now, to actually study some hard science or medicine? Should I go for it?.. I don't know what to do. I feel quite lost.

I kinda regret getting the Wolves of Mercy Falls - now after reading it. There's no way to know you won't like it when you buy it....

I finished it anyway - in a constant struggle and just because I don't like leaving things unfinished and cause I got all three books at the same time. The story was mostly uninteresting and repetitive, aside from the little knots of action and plot progress here and there.

Even though I respect a writer's hard work to finish a book, still I disliked it.. I just want to resell it or give it away now so I don't have to keep it standing together with my other books on the shelves..

Today's lunch a giant salad. Perfect for summer time when all the foods you usually enjoyed during the winter now suddenly make you feel as heavy as a rock..

Nuts are usually untrelated to a salad but I like putting some in, cause they add the perfect crunch (and fat..)

The days are getting unbearebly hot lately. No transition whatsoever, one morning you just have to leave your coat at home, no more hiding behind heavy clothing - now days are passing and I'm getting used to it again.

Procrastination is costly and it's the enemy! Still I can't get rid of it. Lack of control equals lack of money. I need to be more organized and more self-estrict, which I'm not.

Even if it doesn't seem so in the beginning, it's an inversion to be happy in life. The one who needs less stuff to be happy and content is the merriest one, not the one who who has loads of money without even knowing how to spend it..

I need to convince myself as soon as possible, force myself to start seeing things as they are.
At first it never works. You make some neat little schedule but afterwards you forget about it since you feel too lazy and unmotivated to follow it. Most of the time this schedule is way too unrealistic for you to stick up to, so you drop it. Try again and again then, make it less "army style" and more your lazy everyday life, but with the change that, every single day, there will be something you could be proud of. Easier said than done, but.. one step at a time.

Organized people win at everything. I want to be like that too.